So it turns out that my official light, airy, nonsensical blog has to be handed over to someone else as I move onto my new role at Yahoo! And as everyone at work knows, this is a good move and that the only thing I will miss about being CM for Answers is the writing of the Yahoo! India Answers blog.
So I'm going to have to compensate and try and write funky stuff here. Which is sad. No more of the Bhumika bawling over here.
We have turned into a new post.
The first resolution (after recent tatarataratararara tragedy and realising that the gem of a man was actually just so much buggering bollocks without the balls - even my friends think so!) is well, to let go of my deep abiding passion for my previous place of work and the way I used to be crazily busy there and accept that Yahoo! is the only song to yodel. No more of that "This is my Infy..." nonsense. I will dutifully post all the memories on Facebook though. I mean what good is being a celebrity (even if it's only world-famous at Infosys) and not having people know it?
So there. That immediately makes me lose around 20 kgs.
Which brings me to the next resolution which is sort of a recurring theme - go to the gym regularly for a week. And so for the next week, and the next, at least till the Mahashivaratri festival, as my instructor has instructed. In my defense, my reasons for bunking gym this season have all been perfectly legit - why even Mangala Aunty (my mom and one of my sternest critics) has had nothing to say.
The last one is to aim happy.
Listen to happy songs none of that oh-fuck-me-fuck-you music I usually thrive on. I'm planning on listening to shiny, happy songs. I'm still to make a list though.
Watch happy movies and sitcoms and not see my life mirrored there. Unless it's seeing myself as Karen in Will and Grace.
And then to stop reading T. S. Eliot. I love the man, but some men just bring you down.
P.S. That's also you, sweety, if you are reading.
Besides, popular opinion is that Eliot wasn't really too hot in bed. (I just wanted to throw that in. That has no connection with anything.)
P.S. That's probably you too, sweety, if you are still reading, though I will always maintain that you'd be amazing if you had practiced with me. Muah.
And since I've already proved to myself that my college (Jyoti Nivas College, let your light shine...) has instilled all its values in me, I can for the most part be annoyingly saucy and smug.
You bet your ass I am, honey.
I refused good, wholesome, healing sex at a time when my whole being was craving for just the same distraction, from a man whom I've always found hot. So yes, 100 points straightaway.
I am still speaking to God, though I think he/she sucks big time. My attitude is - you fuck me, that makes you bad; it doesn't make me a loser.
And ergo, I qualify. (It's always so nice to use Latin while speaking about divinity.)
Now here we are a little lacking, but will get there soon. Or may be not.
Besides, what's the fun if I am not slightly flighty?
So I'm sure the Sisters of St. Josephs of Tarbes will be bloody proud of me again.
Yes, this will take time. Healing is not easy. Not when there is still more love than anger and repulsion. And certainly not when the loathing is more self-directed than anything else. All unwarranted, useless, emotional rubbish. And yes, there will still be many sleepless nights - running on 8 hours of sleep in 3 days, not bad, eh?
But all is well, this belle is back in action, baby.