I wore heels to work today after an age. And when I walked, there was a spring in my step. And when I spoke, I heard the old chuckle in my voice again. I wore maroon so that obviously helped. But after an age, I felt good about dressing up and I chattered away happily to even people I’m not very fond of. Okay make that just one person. I love the rest.
Today, I was glad to be a woman. And this, in spite of the fact that I am still in pain and not at all well. But that didn’t matter as yesterday I watched Sex and the City – the movie.
SATC has a very special place in my life. When it aired on Star World, I never seriously watched it. The episodes I did end up catching once in a while reminded me of Anu and her office friends – beautiful girls I'd known since college, with their love for shopping, cocktails, partying, and being fun and witty.
It had nothing to do with me, especially the shopping bit. Till the day I left my previous place of work. My friend Gopic gifted me the entire series so I could have something to do when I took my 10 day break between jobs.
And suddenly, my world changed. How did I ever think Sex and the City had nothing to do with me? If Carrie Bradshaw had her Mr. Big, I had my Mr. B then. And all the relationship neuroses that the serial ever dealt with, I dealt with too in that single relationship! And hell, I’ve never been able to resist footwear either. Just like in the series, my friends are my family. I finally saw the appeal of SATC.
But I still managed to miss watching the movie. Till yesterday.
I know most people didn’t like it, but really what’s not to like? It was like watching an entire series at one go without having to listen to the salsa beats at the opening of every episode.
May be it was the distance, may be it was the comfort of watching something familiar, but the movie simply spoke to me.
I don’t think I have still fully recovered from my last break-up and there is that epiphany in it that helped me make sense of my own role in the break-up. I never saw it coming because deep down, I was so afraid that it would happen. I never let myself view the relationship objectively.
And I am still working on the forgiveness too. (I might not need to, because it hasn’t been asked of me.) And since I’ve never been so pissed with myself (I ought to have known better) in my life, it’s difficult to forgive myself.
And I know what it is to love your friends to bits and still feel betrayed and still feel that they don’t really wish you well.
And I know what it is to cry with someone because the worst has happened to them.
And I know how it feels after any debilitating trauma when you come to believe that you might never laugh again, to laugh that first laugh.
And I know what it feels like to say no to something you really love and want, simply because that is antithetical to your own being.
I know what it is to stress and gain pounds; have your friends express concern for your well-being but reassure you that you look gorgeous anyhow, because quite simply, that's love.
And to have temptation thrown at you, and the easy way marked for you; but to decide on something that’s hard but right.
To feel like you’ve been given a miracle and then to spend all your time fearing what could go wrong and when that miracle would be taken away from you.
So I think that these ladies got it right in the movie as well, a chick flick, I actually liked. Because it isn’t just about happy endings. Ah, that I still don’t believe in.
But I did believe in that gorgeous male body they display in the movie. I mean, did you see him in that bathing scene?! Of course, you’d need to cover his face with a pillow, but that body!
And then there is the footwear and things so perfectly feminine.
It’s glorious to be a woman and wear high heels and drink cocktails and share laughs with friends. It’s glorious to simply be alive.
Thank you, SATC.
P.S. I am an ass. Thankfully, a very concerned friend showed me the error of my ways. The naked bathing guy in SATC? Gilles Marini is HOT! And there's no need to cover his face either. He's the sort you can do till there's no tomorrow. Ah. A woman/man can only get so lucky! Ah. Ah. Ah.
Thank you, my darling Gentleman, for knowing me so well and for showing me how wrong I was . :)