Saturday, 12 September 2009

Worst of times

I am reading many blogs these days. I usually start with someone I know or have been following like the WhipperSnapper and then I click on links of other bloggers who've left comments and so on and so forth.

I also watch TV almost like a normal person these days. I watch serials, reality shows, cookery shows, confessionals in regional languages, sometimes even the news.

And of course, when in pain I resort to lying on the bed and watching movies.

I also read two books on two very good days last week. Snow Falling on Cedars. In hindsight, may be this wasn't that good, may be it was just the joy of being able to hold a book in my hand. And then I finally read The Pregnant King which has been lyng so impotently (pun wholly unintended - you will know what I mean if you read the book) in my house all these months. A tale from the Mahabharatha, very well-written, fun, and one of those books that make you think a lot.

Now the Mahabharatha - it's the king of all stories. I really like the collector's Amar Chitra Katha version that they released a couple of years back. It occupies a nice little space in my room. I'm very proud of it. But I like the Mahabharatha so much better when someone subverts the texts and gives you a story that makes you uncomfortable while forcing you to think about things you'd rather not. There is something very reassuring about subversion.

It makes you feel that there is hope for humankind after all.

People with very little talent but lot of clout might succeed in selling theories today, but someone will subvert those theories and ask a few intelligent questions eventually. That is very good.

It's really easy to succeed these days. I actually do know all the tricks. Right words in the right ears. Add a bit of an accent, use words with flourish, and voila - instant stardom. It helps to have your own website of course. I'm working on mine. As in I've thought about it finally.

Bhumika Anand, writer, emcee, trainer, editor, communication expert, branding advisor, event management, production... See what I mean? And you have seperate tabs of course - a sub-category for everything.

But I'm so bored. I have all these thoughts in my head, inspirations from reading posts by even oopper bharath bloggers which are actually well-written and urbane. Yes, I'm a prejudiced South Indian woman, so what now? It's a pity the smart ones stay where they are and let all the half-wits get in touch with me, anyway. I have to believe what I see, no?

So I have so much material - all these things around, all the stories in my head, all those people I'd read before.

And it's still meh. Though saying meh is so not me. I never really took to The Simpsons though I've seen enough of it.

I'm really fed up of everything around me. Even Facebook. Sometimes it's just fun to cry watching TV and to bemoan loss.

A year.

It's the most undocumented of my times, really. I usually turn every experience into a write-up or a story. But here I am, feeling like a has-been at 28 with the frail health of a 82 year old; totally uninspired to move ass; too bored to even be totally pathetic and go on a full-on whining binge.

Truly the worst of times and not even a tale to tell for it all.


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