Monday 17 August 2009

Butt out or Beware

Recently, some one told me that people I don't even know from my previous place of work apparently discuss me. In detail. Fascinating. I thought I was history as far as that place was concerned; turns out I'm a celebrity. Even after I got away.

My darlings/fans, if you are reading this post, then let me tell you once and for all that were there any pills you could take that would make you gloriously thin, then some pharmaceutical company would be laughing all the way to the bank. I'm sorry to take away hope from your life but the only way to lose weight is to eat healthy and exercise.

And please don't worry that I am not yet married. I am fine without a man. I am happy without matrimony. Very happy. In fact, I am absolutely fabulous. If you don't believe me, log on to my Facebook profile.

And please don't try to guess which of my friends are gay and whom I'm sleeping with.

Then there are people who ought to know better who will just butt in when not required and try and cause tension headaches - because.

Well, to all of you, here's a message - butt out or beware. And instead of fictionalizing someone else's life, dramatize your own. And for fuck's sake, get yourself a dildo, and get some at least that way.

Thank you.

And for the others, who love me; I'll write a less belligerent post soon. :) And this isn't for you.


9 comments:

Basically Blah said...

Oh, yes! You tell them, woman! I have put disclaimers on my blog especially for the busybodies who want to mind my business. They trawl my blog looking for gossip when they are just insignificant nothings in my life and obviously, have no life of their own!! You fire away on all cylinders, girl!

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

Oh tell me about it.

You know, you'd think that with my self-obsession, I'd be turning off all but the staunchly loyal or those who don't escape soon enough!

At least, I thought so.

Who'd be interested in me like this? And why?

But one lives and learns. One lives and learns.

Anamika Mazumdar said...

I get your message softly and indistinctly :-)

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

In that case, Anamika, more than the weight-loss pills what you need are hearing aids that will somehow miraculously help you read right as well. Good luck with that. :)

Kalpana Kamath said...

Anamika - get the hell out of here !

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

Thanks, Kalapana, but who are you and why are you linking your name to a news website?

Or am I missing something here?

Anamika Mazumdar said...

Kalpana - you like those yellow sharpie accent. I know why you are getting in now after that advice. will tell you more when we meet :-)

Kalpana Kamath said...

Anams - ok ..will call you tomorrow..remember to get the sharpie accent..you are funny

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

Hello comment moderation; goodbye, ladies, goodbye, sweet ladies...