Try as you might to forget; to put things past you, some things just come up, like the proverbial bad penny. Sometimes, people you think you love and so the only ones who really matter, are kind enough to remind you of things you'd forgotten; ways of feeling you'd left behind you. So I found myself obsessing about things best left in the past. Feeling anew - old hurts and aches. Maybe bringing upon myself a fever.
And then life reasserted itself. I was being foolish. So I went out in the rain.
And the rain opened my mind, my eyes. It's strange how the rain clears your mind; frees your soul.
So there I was, riding across town getting soaked in the rain - hoping, wishing, wanting, singing and laughing with joy.
Then, the rain made me see what I did not want to see. It made me believe the truth shining at me, like the new bad penny; only obviously, I didn't want it.
And now, it's the simple joy of laughing and singing, I won't ever forgive myself for.
How vain we are to think that things change. Haven't we seen enough, read enough to know they don't? How foolish to hope!
Truly, we live as we dream - alone. And when we believe we have more, the laughing Gods let you have it and show you how you don't; you never ever did. They were merely toying with you, laughing at your pathetic hope. But they also say that God watches out for fools and small animals. It must be true. Who else but fools will provide such sinfully delicious, if unhealthy entertainment? And try as I did today, I didn't get killed or wrecked. I now know it to be true.
What do you call reality?
I call it Blue Funk; that's my only reality. Having reestablished that now, I do think I will stop being a fool in the rain.
Blue funk, blue funk, blue funk, in what always was and always shall be. Blue funk, blue funk, blue funk, in remembered fears and showering tears. Blue funk, blue funk, blue funk, on a wet pavement soaked in wetter tears; just a fool in the rain.